


Lonesome

by Rainewritesfanfics



Category: Uta no Prince-sama
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Haruka, Emotions, F/F, F/M, Femslash, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Introspection, LGBTQ Themes, Lesbian Tomochika, M/M, Multi, Past Relationship(s), Polyamory, Romance, STARISH are good boyfriends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-30
Updated: 2020-08-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:27:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26201149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rainewritesfanfics/pseuds/Rainewritesfanfics
Summary: Part of Tomochika regrets breaking up with Haruka. Now that the composer is happily, if secretly, with her idols, Tomochika does her best to play the role of the supportive friend.Still, it’s hard not to feel lonely when surrounded by love.
Relationships: Nanami Haruka/STARISH (Uta no Prince-Sama), Nanami Haruka/Shibuya Tomochika
Comments: 1
Kudos: 9





	Lonesome

**Author's Note:**

> I was listening to She by Dodie when this idea popped into my head. Tomoharu is underrated.

Tomochika smiled, watching STARISH envelope Haruka in a group hug. None of them seemed to mind the fresh-off-the-stage sweat, least of all Haruka, who was beaming at each man in turn.

Those sweet amber eyes turned her way, smile never faltering. Tomochika answered with a wave, keeping her face soft and encouraging.

It began to feel claustrophobic in the dressing area.

Ren ruffled Haruka’s hair. The hair that Tomochika knew smelled of cherry and vanilla.

Otoya was so excited that he squished Haruka’s petite frame to his chest in hug, and Natsuki scooped both redheads off the floor and into his arms. Tomochika knew those soft curves that the two men held close.

Tokiya took Haruka’s hands once her feet were on the floor again, threading their fingers together. With their fingers intertwined, the two musicians shared a private smile. Those slim fingers were talented at more than just playing piano, as Tomochika had known once.

Cecil smacked a kiss to Haruka’s cheek, and Syo smacked the back of the younger man’s head. When Haruka burst into giggles, their hearts weren’t alone in melting.

With an anchor beating inside her rib cage, Tomochika tried to slip away as Masato had his turn showering Haruka with his love.

The darkness of the costume racks in almost managed to swallow Tomochika, but of course it would never be that easy.

Haruka, always a beam of sunshine, cut through the shadows and held a hand out to her best friend.

And, like the fool she was, Tomochika would never resist taking it.

Their palms met. Skin to skin. A curse and a blessing at once.

Haruka’s hand was clammy from her earlier nerves, but her smile and watery eyes showed her pride.

Tomochika couldn’t help answering Haruka’s smile with her own.

She knew that it wasn’t Haruka’s fault things had ended. It was never Haruka’s fault. 

Sweet, devoted, sunny Haruka.

No. It was Tomochika.

She had been too afraid. Years ago, with her idol career taking flight and paparazzi around every corner, Tomochika had asked Haruka to set aside their feelings. 

This was her dream, Tomochika reminded herself on lonely nights as her tears bled into the pillowcase. She had wanted to be an idol long before her gorgeous friend had stolen into her heart. 

Now that she was an idol of some renown, Tomochika could not afford to be outed, and she definitely couldn’t afford to break the “no love” clause of her contract. Not even for the only woman she could picture spending her life with.

Part of her brain always tried to rationalize it. By breaking up, Haruka was safer, too. It was better this way.

At least, it should have been...

Composers were free to date anyone. Anyone, that is, other than the idols they worked with.

Tomochika wasn’t quite sure when it had happened. 

When had the longing glances sent Haruka’s way started to be returned? When had Haruka moved past the love she and Tomochika had shared? When had she fallen for an entire band?

And the bigger question was, how had Tomochika missed it?

She had always thought her heart beat in time with Haruka’s, but now she realized that they had been out of sync for a long time.

Haruka loved STARISH, she had always known that. They were bound to Haruka through the music they shared. That had been true even when Haruka had slept in Tomochika’s arms behind the locked door of their dorm.

But now, 8 hearts had come together, or maybe they had always been together.

Shaking her head, Tomochika snapped out of her thoughts.

Haruka’s face had taken on a nervous expression that Tomochika could not understand. The concert was over, and she was surrounded by her doting lovers. All was well.

The band tugged Tomochika into their embrace folding her and Haruka into the center. Away from prying eyes.

Tomochika could see the way Cecil held Syo’s hand. The way Masato’s hand clutched Tokiya’s sleeve. Ren’s hand was not-so-subtly on Otoya’s ass.

Haruka was not alone in loving these men.

Natsuki squeezed Tomochika’s shoulder, and when lilac eyes met green, she nearly cried. “Go on,” he murmured, barely audible over the lingering cheers from the fans outside.

All around, STARISH stood guard. Safely ensconced by their taller friends, Tomochika dared to reach up and cradle Haruka’s cheeks between her palms.

Their foreheads bumped together, and Tomochika let the tears she had been fighting roll down her cheeks when Haruka kissed her nose.

“Haruka,” she sobbed quietly into her friend’s ear. “I miss you.”

“Then come back to me,” Haruka begged. “I’m right here.”

A bout of nerves clenched her stomach. Could she do this? After holding back for years, Tomochika knew that if she gave in to her love, she would never have the strength to leave Haruka again. 

Tokiya caught her eye over Haruka’s shoulder. He offered a small nod.

The dam broke.

“You are right here. You always have been,” Tomochika whispered fiercely, leaning back so she could look properly at the woman she had loved for almost a decade. “Haruka.”

“Tomo-chan.”

“I never stopped loving you,” Tomochika confessed.

More tears ran down Haruka’s flushed cheeks. “Me, too.”

They hugged. Tomochika inhaled the sweet cherry scent and clung to the curves she had missed. Their hearts fluttered and their tears mingled as Tomochika rubbed their cheeks together.

“Is this really okay?” she asked as she tilted her head down. “Are we really doing this?”

“Only if you want to,” Haruka replied.

With that, Tomochika bridged the distance had grown between them.

It had been years since they last kissed, but their lips didn’t seem to know that. They moved together in perfect harmony. Chapped lips, giggles, and sweat under the heat of the makeup lights.

When they parted, STARISH cheered and hugged them. 

Haruka laughed in earnest as she squeezed her hands. A radiant smile stole Tomochika’s breath.

Tomochika grinned back as her heart raced. She was a comet, helplessly, happily, in Haruka’s orbit.

Three nights later, with Haruka’s head on her chest and the snores of the boys in Haruka’s living room, Tomochika knew that she would never let go again. She would never have to.


End file.
